What would my life be? Where would I be… And what would I be doing in life right now if life never gave me the chance to meet the people in this group? I don’t really know.
My earliest memory of threads and cloths were those found inside the drawers of our old sewing machine. Back then I was more interested riding its foot pedal,rocking backwar
ds/forwards, forwards/backwards in a pretend game of, “Hey, Look..The Foot Pedal’s My Rocking Chair!”. At other times, it was the only thing which kept me or my siblings hidden from prying eyes during a game of hide and seek. My fondest thoughts of more threads and cloths were the ones that my mother sewed. She made dresses for us girls for special occasions. Nothing elaborate. Dresses that were appropriate for our young age. I remembered the white dress with small printed flowers with frills at the hem and waist. I wore it on my Grade IV, Commencement Day. My mother’s passion for sewing extended to pillows/ pillow cases, curtains, and rags. She recyled old cloths turning it into something useful. On our first church youth camping trip, she made this backpack/ sleeping bag contraption from tarpaulin and cloth stiched together. It was one of its kind. She taught us girls how to fold it from its sleeping bag form to backpack. It wasn’t perfect but it was a fun, fun, pack! In high school, my mother’s enthusiasm for sewing were put into test. My older sister and I were performing in our annual school play. We were both cast in the same character, Joan in the musical play,”Godspell” by Stephen Shwartz and John-Michael Tebelak. She made the most colorful, clownish, gaudy costumes ever put together. The bolero had puffed net sleves, with shapes stiched all over it. Both sleeves were of different colors. The skirts were short and balloon type; paired with colorful tights. The skirts swayed with every move we made. Our costumes were perfect for dancing and singing. It was just right for Joan. On my Senior year, she helped me sew my own version of “Cabbage Patch Doll” as a birthday gift to one of my best friends who was turning eighteen at that time. We were at it for weeks, my mother and I. My desire was to make a doll. She was there to fulfill it. We probably made a great team because my best friend loved my gift –thanked me profusely for it. She also made a small pillow for me because I had trouble sleeping with those big fluffy kind. My mother had magic hands and a will to keep doggedly with whatever sewing projects she put her mind into.
Today, I made my first attempt to sew by hand the batik pants you see at the upper right corner. Guided by our well–loved sewing instructor and helpful classmates, I was able to make sense the steps on how to go about it. I may not have my mother’s skill yet but I definitely have her stubborn persistence to stay and keep going. Don’t get me wrong, I get frustrated sometimes when unstitching seemed the only thing I do right and straight lines turned crooked. Then I’ll remember my mother’s unshakeable resolution to keep going. Just keep going.
To date : The author have four blouses and a short pants to sew with several patterns to make; and a mantra to “Keep Going!”
I’m always the person who loves different kind of adventures, I dared to face my fears and different form of challenges and ultimately unafraid to feel being hurt and uncomfortable. The reason why I allow myself to be exposed with this different kind of adventure was to be awakened, to gain strength, growth and so I can look deeper into myself and adjust the course of my life.
The dream of climbing those high mountains was sleeping but it’s always in my heart. Dreaming all alone, those peaks which names are just words coming out from my mouth was kinda impossible to reach coz I have no one to climb with and I don’t know what to do. I wish to find peace and comfort in there, leave every worries behind and experience adventure as well, and witness the beautiful sunset and sunrise and unique mesmerizing view that you could only see in there. I want to take beautiful pictures that I cloud brag from my photo buddies and I also want to meet new people in there and make friends with them. As I walk in the trail of my life facing the monotonous routine in the city, that dream was awakened. The longing and enthusiasm to fulfill that dream became intense. I admit that one of my obvious reason to climb was to escape boredom. Until the unexpected time came, I met my cousin Yano who’s in ROTA and I met ROTA people who are active in outdoor activities. I said to myself wow this could be a dream come true, now climbing those mountains is near my fingertips and I was happy but I was shy at first, I know these people are already experienced climbers. And then I have asked myself, why do they climb and what could be their reasons for it? Could it be that we have the same reasons? But whatever reasons it might be I hope they’ll be happy as I am.
As time goes by I’ve learned to love and enjoyed socializing with ROTA company. As time goes by, we met new people in our group and we met different kind of personalities and different kind of experience and perspective in life. But despite that difference we have all same desire, the desire to climb those mountains and prove ourselves that we can make it through the summit and go down safely despite its treacherous trails. But what fuels our desires are not only to prove ourselves that we are strong despite our physical and emotional weakness and sharing our adventurous experience to our friends. For me it’s like heaven in there, you feel so high, elated, and carefree, the views are awesome and it’s highly addictive but the best things are laughter’s, and sharing of thoughts and personal experience during camping at night, I believe that’s one of the heaviest thing that fuels us to climb. Honestly, I became a climbing monster.
In the process of our mountain climbing adventures the more we know each other well, in the process some found love, some lost it and some had given up by choice. During our kindhearted visits to SULADS we met another people again. At SULADS we have witnessed how those young people in different tribes lived in modesty. What I learned from them is how to be contented of what you have and be happy with it. Wealth is not how much you have, it’s how happy and contented with what you have. I know that in a more civilized people like us have different needs, we are desirous to have this and have that, well there’s nothing wrong with it, I myself too wants to live comfortably 🙂 the important thing is we must not be selfish to share what we have to those who don’t have.
Every mountain we have conquered and successful event we have accomplished we celebrate. At the highest peak of our laughter’s and enjoyment, misunderstandings and dispute of some of our members disrupts. I was kind of discouraged. But I know in myself that those things will pass, those are just trials and there’s no reason why I should backout. I should continue the group’s long plan, the plan to climb mt. apo which is every mountaineers dream. I want to experience mt. apo and specially the group coz I love the group. And so the day had come, finally the highest mountain that we long and dream to climb became a reality. We finally reached there and had fun. I thank God for giving us the chance to go there despite the hectic schedules of some climbers, secondly I thank the group for their enthusiasm and passion to climb. And thanks to myself, jojo even if he backed out and the guide and porters and thanks for Billy’s assistance. Sorry all for my unpredictable and fiery temper sometimes 🙂
Later on I’ve realized that during our climb we developed trust and warm friendship. Those treacherous trails we hiked does not only reminds us that we are strong enough to step on it but it’s how we value and being responsible not only to ourselves but also to the climbers next to us. We never leave the responsibility for each other. During the trek we never leave and fail to assist those physically weak but we never underestimate their strength. In the campsite when the weather suddenly turns grumpy, we never fail to be generous and helpful to our fellow climbers specially the less experienced ones. We sacrifice a little for them at the same time we know how to save ourselves. We know that mountaineering is also a form of survival in the wild.
By all, the highest peak that we’ve climbed is not the peak of the highest mountain, it’s our warm friendship and love. The acceptance and respect despite who our friends are. We learned good things from them, and they learned good things from us. We also learned to take good care and respect mother nature. Those generosity, care and laughter’s will always leave a trail in our hearts. I am and always will be very happy to climb with you guys and I thank God for giving me a chance to be in this group. Thanks for all who joined the climb to MT. APO, this couldn’t be possible without your support 🙂 but never think that this group will only survive thru climbing high mountains in a very far place and spend a lot of money for it. Bahalag minor ra na climb, bahalag malasag ra.. beaching, simple gathering etc .basta ang importante magka hiusa ta para active perme ang group.
I had a strange dream the other night. In my dream I made a confession. It was so vivid that I can still recall every word I confessed and my feelings along with it. I grinned broadly, shameless in my articulation. The Sagittarius goddess in me was kicking in— jovial and fearless, candid with just a hint of playfulness. I spoke and time seemed to have stopped. In that infinitesimal moment, I unabashedly courted forever to come and tarry with us.
“Hey You…Surprise!” I always wanted to say that most especially on your birthday. But since it’s too far off—like 2 weeks from now, right? Or am I left…lol. And also, since anything can happen from this point forward allow me to say…you are the best thing that happened in my life for a long while. And I thanked God for crossing our paths. I am grateful for having encouraged me to be my authentic self when we interact through sms or in person. Hope that I too had encouraged you just the same. I knew I take jabs at your ego and brain now and then, but knowing that I won’t get away with it easily, made me look forward to these exchanges. Going to bed laughing was the highlight of my day. You were my personal clown other than our dogs. It’s a compliment. Ha-ha. If I can put your humor in a bottle and take a pill a day, I’ll have my Vit. H daily!
You know that I love you, right? Ikaw pa..lol!… The Sigmund Freud! I am aware of your cynical view on love. I remembered saying, “Let’s agree to disagree” in our conversation about it. But, I believe that there are moments in our lives when we need to grab the bull by its horns. And certainly this qualifies it–telling you how I feel. I wonder why some of us find it difficult to tell how we really feel. I guess the part of being vulnerable is enough to make us change our minds. That’s why the Good Word says, “Perfect love cast out all fears.” Hmmmm… Mine is far from perfect. Looking at it closely, you can see a lot of holes. But hey, it took me this far<grins>. So, why am I telling u this? It’s because I don’t want to live my life with regrets. Looking back, I’d like to think I went for broke. Selfish, yeah.
So what happens now? Nothing. When we meet, we’ll talk like we always do. Smile a little, laugh, or with my usual “Sumbagon taka”, reply. This is my script…. What’s yours?”
“I… Arghhhhh! Stoppp!” some part of my sleep-induced brain was forced to acknowledge the infernal wetness across my face. “Kofi, u slobbering dog… How many times did I tell you not to wake me with your licking HABIT! Do you want me to die of ‘Saliva-Exasperation?’ I opened my eyes, rubbed them and gazed at the two dark-brown eyes, of our 3 year old lab. My heart melted. “Do you want to get outside, girl?”, I asked. I wiped my still wet face on my night shirt and slowly made my way to the front door. Kofi went hurriedly past me, tail swishing, out the door. I climbed back to bed. Closed my eyes and willed myself to go back to my interrupted dream. Unfortunately, like all dreams, mine had no pause, and play buttons. “Geez, no more replays. No answer…Nada”, I muttered at no one in particular.
I pulled the bed covers over my head. Funny, how reality slid unencumbered into my subconscious and acutely mirrored your lack of response.